Thursday, June 16, 2011

Letter to Anna before College

Anna,
                I cannot tell you how very proud I am of you and the independent young lady you are becoming more every day.  Of course, watching you become more of who you are give me great concern and more than a little fearful at times.  The concerns and fears stem from my own insecurities as a parent.  I’ve been with you every step of the way, but I wonder if I’ve communicated well enough all the life lessons I should have taught you.  Soon you’ll be going to college so in case I’ve missed anything, I wanted to jot down a few key points I hope I have covered in some way.  If it sounds like you’ve heard it all before, that’s comforting because it means I’ve done my job.
1)      Obey the Ten Commandments.  Every question you will ever have about right and wrong can be found in those simple rules.  Remember, God singled each of those out for a reason.
2)      Nobody can ever make you feel inferior without your consent (okay, Eleanor Roosevelt’s words, but I couldn’t have said it better).  There are people in this world who will try to bring you down all your life, but just look in the mirror and remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made).
3)      Hold your head high when you enter a room.  Confidence is something you can fake until you make and it’s the most common trait measured by others.  Whether you have it or don’t, others will notice.
4)      Remember that once you’ve done something, you can never say, “I’ve never…” again.  Be one of those special people who doesn’t care about fitting into the mold of what’s popular.  The ones who give in to peer pressure (even as adults) are a dime a dozen; they’re forgettable, but the ones who stand up are remembered and respected.
5)      Do the right thing every chance you get.  Even when it makes you later or poorer or more inconvenienced, make a difference and give your time and talents to the ones the world seems to have forgotten.
6)      Remember your name will go farther than your face will ever go.  Your reputation will live long after you’re gone.  Guard it carefully and be careful of the company you keep.  You will find unfortunately that your friends are not always your friends.  There are those who will sabotage you when they realize you have something they don’t, namely character.
7)      Speaking of friends…your genuine friends will most likely be counted on one hand.  We are all human and you will find you will be disappointed and hurt many, many times but one true friend who stands by you in the storm will be worth all the ones who let you down along the way.
8)      Love.  One day you will date the man who will become your husband and the father of your children.  Never let any man near your heart who wouldn’t fight for you with everything he has.  Choose the one who will lift you up, not bring you down.  Choose the one who will be concerned about how to make you happy and someone concerned with becoming a better person daily.  Choose the one who will be the voice of reason in a difficult situation, not someone who will be a voice of difficulty in a reasonable situation.  Choose the one who teaches you that love is a verb, not a noun.
9)      Exercise forgiveness.  The biggest gift anyone can give you is a sincere apology.  Be big enough to accept it.  Also, be merciful to yourself.  You will make mistakes but you will learn from them every time if you know how to forgive yourself.
10)   Remember where home is.  No matter how old you get, how successful you are, how many children you have, how smart you become…I will always be your mama.  I will always be your biggest cheerleader and I will always be that bridge to your childhood when you need to be reminded of simpler times.  And as hard as it will be, I will love you enough to let you go and spread your wings. 
Love,
Mama

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